


Draco's Poetry Prank

by Crackfic_Crookshanks (Hang_In_There_Baby_Crookshanks), swishyclang, Sylvia__z, tschulie, Violas Crack Fics (ViolaMoon)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:48:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26027491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hang_In_There_Baby_Crookshanks/pseuds/Crackfic_Crookshanks, https://archiveofourown.org/users/swishyclang/pseuds/swishyclang, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sylvia__z/pseuds/Sylvia__z, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tschulie/pseuds/tschulie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViolaMoon/pseuds/Violas%20Crack%20Fics
Summary: Draco's not quite sure whether he's in school or not, but he knows he's darn good at poetry and pranking the Weasel.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3
Collections: Fanatical Fam's Crackfic Chaos





	Draco's Poetry Prank

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Crackfic written by the Fanatical Fam over on the discord for the Fanatical Fics and Where To Find Them podcast!  
> These fics have been created using our favourite bot - Chocolate Frogs - during a game we like to call Crackfic Chaos.

Draco sat in his office, overseeing his kingdom. If anyone had asked him back at Hogwarts that this would be his job, he would have said they were off their rocker. But the sale of women's wand holsters were his one and true passion. His top product was a pink and fluffy one. He had designed that one as a tribute to his childhood fluffy pink bunny and the women and also men went crazy for that wandholster. Draco Malfoy had created an imperium and had multiplied the old money that his ancestors had never dared to touch. That came with a curse though. The curse inflicted on Draco ended up leading to the Dark Lords demise. He had been crushed by the money in his vault when he went to hide his horcruxes inside. But now Draco was left with the consequences. In order to get the Manor back, Draco had only one choice. To win the Hogwarts annual talent show and he knew just the way. No one, and I mean NO ONE was better than him at writing poetry! Draco began to scribble furiously in a nearby textbook, determined to write the most heart-wrenching, soul-touching poem Hogwarts had ever heard. 

"I am the darkness, I am the night..." He paused, pleased. Yes, that was original and thought-provoking. "I am the - uh..." He stalled. "I am the bird that has now taken flight." Draco wrote and the poem was perfect. There wouldn't be a dry seat in the house/school. He picked up his notes for his new design of a wand holster and headed to the great hall. He was ready to perform despite being a student anymore. He would win the show.

When he entered the great hall he couldn't believe his eyes! Ron Weasley was there also taking part in the talent show! And he was also going to read a poem! He walked up to him.  
"What the hell are you doing here weasel?" Draco smirked.  
'I heard Hermione was really into muggle poetry,' Ron confessed sheepishly. 'I decided to write my own about how much I love her.' Draco couldn't believe the material Ron had just handed him. But this gave him a brilliant idea. He looked again at the scribbled rubbish on the page.  
"Ron, Ron, Ron," he said, channelling Gilderoy Lockhart as best he could. "Ron my dear friend, this is absolutely wonderful. You have a gift, Ronald Weasley! You should show this immediately to Gr- er, Hermione and confess your undying love. She's certain to be deeply impressed." Draco looked again at the drawing of a penis in the middle of the page. "Deeply impressed." 

Draco Malfoy: Master Prankster. He liked the sound of that. After that Draco turned into a pixie and flew away. Ron was left behind dazzled. What was the meaning that whole interaction? Should he really show his masterpiece of a drawn dickpic to Hermione? Draco for sure had been impressed... Ron took a deep breath. He would show the picture of the dickpic to Hermione. He towards her hoping she would have the same reaction as Draco. In his mind he was already planning the sexiest threesome of his life. That evening Ron cornered Hermione in the common room. He had no idea how to raise the topic and just shoved Draco's dickpic in Hermione face. Hoping she'd understand that he wanted a threesome between them all.

Hermione took a good look and decided. "Sure, but I am the filling this time." Hermione opened the floo, stuck her head through and summoned him. "Let's make this quick okay," she said with a sigh, her book was waiting. The book that was waiting for her decided that it didn't want to watch whatever was going on and produced some legs and ran for the safety of the shelf where it landed with a thump. It sighed, glad that it had been able to escape.


End file.
